just a memory

hello again...its been almost twenty four hours since i last wrote...still got the blasted headache, couldn't manage to do much work at home today, just a bit of laundry washing and ironing, and wow! that's it! i am a bad bad housewife....i just can't pull myself thru to do much at home today...not with this terrrrrrible headace still lingering...sometimes i wish i no longer have to endure this monthly process of womanhood, but then come to think of it, when that time comes, its almost dreaded by most women since they say it makes a woman lose their sense of livelihood and no longer feel young...hehe...now why would a woman always want to feel young when they're already at the age of fifty?

i think that after having been a wife and a mother of two wonderful kids, if i were no longer to have my monthly dots, i would still feel lively and happy to be alive...i would be happy even more to be able to see my kids grown up and having their own life with whoever they choose to be with....heheh...maybe i'll get to spend time taking care of their kids....would be wonderful just to drive around with small kids again...only thing is i hope my kids kids will be as good and nice kids as themselves when they were younger...ahhhhh...i miss those days when those two were little...

i can still remember duudie and alli growing up with their cartoons and toys and books and whatever it is they fancy to have...i can say that i was quite strict with them, even to the point of beating them up when i was in a very bad mood...of course i know duudie remembers all that, but all in all, they both turn up to be very nice and well behaved youngsters and even duudie is now a very pretty and well behaved woman of almost going to be 26 in less than a fortnight from now...alli's just turned 18 last october, he's still a playboy that he is, always with his playstation, PS2, and now with his PSP....heheh...that's the kind of playboy that he is, hopefully, when he's a bit older he won't be the other kind of playboy which of course involves girls....but of course, even now, he does appreciate a beautiful girl when he sees one...i know he can't wait to have a girlfriend which i always tell him that he's still too young to have one...i just want him to have lots of friends but won't go serious with just one girl in his young age...

it should be duudie who is supposed to be having boyfriends but till today, she has yet to find one that fancies her heart...well, maybe she will have one sometime soon, but let time work its way for her, for i know she's not in a hurry to be married and end her single life, even though i know that duyong is just getting impatient in wanting to see her married. as for myself, i don't think i am quite prepared to see duudie going off to live with a man, i will just let her take her own time and space in finding her own life partner, i sure don't want her to rush into anything serious and then realise that its not the right man for her...i want her to have a happy and wonderful married life just the way i have...good men are difficult to find these days!

anyways, this is just a thought to remember deep in my mind and heart...my kids will always be my kids no matter how old they are...their happiness is all that i ask for in life...so i hope duyong will stop being impatient in wanting to marry duudie off...how i wish my kids hadn't grown so fast. sometimes it is sad seeing kids grow up so fast and then goes off into the world to be on their own or with the one they love! i sure am a bad mummy i think! but i do love both of them so much and i can't bear the thought of being separated.