an off day today!

arrrggghhh....today wednesday november 11th 2009...i am somehow feeling a bit off...can't define why i'm feeling this way...i hate the way i feel though...not that i am unhappy or sad or feel sick or any have any negative thoughts in my mind...no no no no...i don't like to feel way off from my usual self...but today is the day...

i guess it all started when i saw the 7 am news on tv this morning...my beloved bollywood hero is planning to have a concert here in malaysia this coming december 11th...by why of why, can't he do it somewhere in kl or shah alam? why does it have to be in melaka? maybe its becos he had the datukship from melaka? i know the sultan of selangor will never ever give him any title but that doesn't mean he can't have a concert here in shah alam like he used to a few years back...now i will have to drive all the way to melaka and hopefully somehow afford the tickets which i know will be pretty damn expensive...and then i will also have to get a hotel room for the night cos i don't think i would want to drive all the way back from melaka to shah alam right after the concert...aaaahhhhhh...shahrukh you can't do this to your fans out of melaka. i don't think the people in melaka even went to the cinema to watch your movies...hehehe...well, maybe they did, but i don't think they watched as much as your fans here in kl...makes me sigh a lot now.

well..now why am i still feeling down? i am hungry...i know i am hungry but i refuse to eat...cos what i eat is not something that i want....aaaahhhhh....i want the sardine paratha...specially made for me...both duudie and me really loved it...plus i also want the chicken cheese kebab...i am so yearning for it...someone else offered to make those food for me but i refuse...i am such a fussy eater that i refuse to eat the same food that i love when its made by someone else...for i know i will not be satisfied when i eat...so for now, i will only have to eat plain white rice with mutton curry...its quite nice too but still i am hungry for the food that i want...

hmmm...another sad feeling for me is that i am still angry at myself for still being the same old me for the past 27 years....i need to change, i need to change, i need to be different, not only for me myself, but also for my duyong...i can't say that we're sufferring but still, there's something amiss in our lives....now i feel like crying...so sad, sad sad sad and hungry.....gotta stop...my eyes is raining now....wwaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!